Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
