So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
