If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize