Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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