i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So much rum. So many feels.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
