I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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