We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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