okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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