Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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