you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
