Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
