I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
