you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
the liver wants what the liver wants
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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