I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
