Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
