I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
