at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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