Well apparently he's into motor boating.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
