my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
