ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
