We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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