Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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