Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
