Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
