My hand turned me down
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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