I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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