No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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