Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
