It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
