Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
