My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
