i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
