Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
