Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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