Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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