did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
