yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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