thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
