Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
