opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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