Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
