My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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