My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
