I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
