he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
