is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
