I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
