I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
