you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize