My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
