I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
