I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
