He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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