just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I intend to get homeless drunk
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
